I haven't posted much or spoken about much in regards to fertility treatment and what have you. Mostly because there hasn't been much to tell.
When I switched physicians, we switched medications. I wanted to try the one I got pregnant with Bryce on. Well...that was a mistake. I formed a stupid cyst and went through the $100's of treatment and didn't even ovulate! So this cyst hung on and hung on and hung on....wouldn't shrink for almost 3 MONTHS. It was infuriating and I was beginning to get worried it would never go away.
Finally at my last appointment, it seemed to be shrinking, my estrogen level went from a 72 to a 48.... and he took this as a good sign. I was on active pill birth control for 9 straight weeks. He finally let me come off and hopefully it will shrink the rest of the cyst and everything will work out the way it is supposed to.
If it doesn't I'll have some additional testing.
We are going to officially hand in our paperwork for fostering soon. The classes are finished but after the move thing after thing after thing has come up. We are looking forward to this journey.
As for hurricane damage, the adjuster still hasn't made it out....which we understand since there are so many people affected. He will be out soon.
Nothing else to update. Bryce is doing well with homeschooling. I'm slowly working him up to longer teaching lessons. He thinks a workbook page is good enough lol. Trying to get him up to half days at least.
other homeschool moms? Any advice for getting a 5 year old to focus longer?
Sunday, October 8, 2017
Tuesday, September 12, 2017
Hurricane Irma
Today is a new day. Yesterday when we woke up I was seriously devastated. I looked at my yard and my house and was just gutted. I was also angry. I was angry that I prepared for power outages and never even lost power. (not that I was angry that I didn't lose power, but I was angry that as the storm approached it was either going on the East or West Coast...not up the middle like the scary forecasts said in the days prior...and we were supposed to just lose power and have some high winds)
As I slept in the hall next to my 5 year old that wouldn't fall asleep until midnight because of the sounds, I realized, I've never been through anything like this. We are inland, considered 'low risk' for hurricanes, and just generally not in an area that experiences something like this. Hurricanes? Yes of course. Irma was one of the strongest recorded hurricanes and the largest.
We fared 100x better than the lower lying parts of Florida and the islands of course but still had (what I thought) was a good amount of damage.
So here was my status as of yesterday morning. New homeowner. First time home buyer. No idea how insurance or FEMA works. Just was told to try to get FEMA. Tried to get FEMA and was told not only was I the first Florida call (as though it was a bad thing) but that we had not been declared a disaster area and therefore are not eligible for assistance. This doesn't mean that I think I have some immeasurable amount of damage. It means I have damage. I thought you were supposed to try to get these things taken care of asap...not sort of be laughed at for being the first florida call. I THOUGHT that is what you're supposed to do. Basically get in line! I asked her why we weren't declared a disaster area and she said 'that is something that comes directly from the White House and the President.... our hands are tied' I said 'ok...I understand...but why wouldn't we be? The eye of a category 2 hurricane came right through us? 'I don't know'. I also was operating on almost no sleep. Stressed, tired, edgy, scared, angry, hungry. Never good.
So this morning. I am trying to do better. I am trying to look at my fence and think 'it might not be so bad'...but fences cost a lot of money. I know it's material but with our high deductible coupled with the high cost of having a fence put up...it's just a little disheartening. I'm thankful we are ok. I'm thankful my house (other than shingles) is ok. I'm thankful for all the people who have checked in. I'm also thankful for the people who have taken time to explain things to me about insurance and how the rate hikes *should* work.
Today is a lot more sunny, literally and figuratively. I am who I am and we did what we needed to to keep our family safe... that's the best I can do. I'm proud of how we came together as a family yesterday and cleaned up our yard. Now we need to figure out fences....and get through to this insurance! Their numbers aren't working... maybe their power is still out? Trying to be patient but these things can take months...just trying to get on the list early.
As I slept in the hall next to my 5 year old that wouldn't fall asleep until midnight because of the sounds, I realized, I've never been through anything like this. We are inland, considered 'low risk' for hurricanes, and just generally not in an area that experiences something like this. Hurricanes? Yes of course. Irma was one of the strongest recorded hurricanes and the largest.
We fared 100x better than the lower lying parts of Florida and the islands of course but still had (what I thought) was a good amount of damage.
So here was my status as of yesterday morning. New homeowner. First time home buyer. No idea how insurance or FEMA works. Just was told to try to get FEMA. Tried to get FEMA and was told not only was I the first Florida call (as though it was a bad thing) but that we had not been declared a disaster area and therefore are not eligible for assistance. This doesn't mean that I think I have some immeasurable amount of damage. It means I have damage. I thought you were supposed to try to get these things taken care of asap...not sort of be laughed at for being the first florida call. I THOUGHT that is what you're supposed to do. Basically get in line! I asked her why we weren't declared a disaster area and she said 'that is something that comes directly from the White House and the President.... our hands are tied' I said 'ok...I understand...but why wouldn't we be? The eye of a category 2 hurricane came right through us? 'I don't know'. I also was operating on almost no sleep. Stressed, tired, edgy, scared, angry, hungry. Never good.
So this morning. I am trying to do better. I am trying to look at my fence and think 'it might not be so bad'...but fences cost a lot of money. I know it's material but with our high deductible coupled with the high cost of having a fence put up...it's just a little disheartening. I'm thankful we are ok. I'm thankful my house (other than shingles) is ok. I'm thankful for all the people who have checked in. I'm also thankful for the people who have taken time to explain things to me about insurance and how the rate hikes *should* work.
Today is a lot more sunny, literally and figuratively. I am who I am and we did what we needed to to keep our family safe... that's the best I can do. I'm proud of how we came together as a family yesterday and cleaned up our yard. Now we need to figure out fences....and get through to this insurance! Their numbers aren't working... maybe their power is still out? Trying to be patient but these things can take months...just trying to get on the list early.
Wednesday, July 5, 2017
I am not extraordinary...
I'll preface this with 'it's ok'. But I'm not extraordinary.
When I run down a list of things that others can do, their capabilities, their loving weaknesses, ability to be a good friend, parenthood, skills....etc. I realize I really can't compare. Nobody speaks of me with fondness like 'she sure does love her dog, or she's such a cat lover, or she's a really good blogger, or she works really hard, or she really provides for her family, she's so fun, I miss her, she's a devoted wife, etc. I'm really nothing special.
Blame it on the hormones but I've been feeling pretty down and lonely lately. Not sure if it is this new medication I'm on or what but this is our 8th month of infertility treatment and I really don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Although meaning well, someone messaged me the other day that they are about to adopt their foster daughter. (She already has biological children) They got her at like...4 months old or something? They've had her for over a year and have known since she was very young that she was adoptable. The baby has no issues, no handicaps, etc. She knows we are trying to foster and knows we are doing infertility treatment, so why the announcement? I don't get it. Why me? We aren't even friends on facebook? I deleted her a while ago when our mutual friend and I (who we met through) stopped talking. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for her (as much as I can be for an acquaintance) but in general I'm more like 'ok?'. She said she was just messaging me to check up on me, but she announced her happy news first...almost like 'here's my awesome news, now about you?'. We don't even talk but once every 6 months or so.
Sorry if you're reading this-I appreciate the check up but with everything that is going on...it was just a bit of a shock.
I'm not really good at much. I don't have a hobby. I don't like mom's groups. I don't knit or craft. I'm not artistic. I'm a good cook...but I don't feel much like cooking lately. I want to start living to make each day count but I feel like every day is consumed with fertility treatments and other people's pregnancy announcements etc.
I know a 'friend' who is pregnant right now and she thinks I don't know. So not only is she lying to me but it's insulting my intelligence too. Which is annoying. Now, she has every right not to tell me...I'm not saying I should be at the top of the list by any means but yuck...get over yourself lol.
So I guess for right now I'll focus on work... making money, getting out of debt, and planning for a vacation...wish me luck on my scan for Friday!
When I run down a list of things that others can do, their capabilities, their loving weaknesses, ability to be a good friend, parenthood, skills....etc. I realize I really can't compare. Nobody speaks of me with fondness like 'she sure does love her dog, or she's such a cat lover, or she's a really good blogger, or she works really hard, or she really provides for her family, she's so fun, I miss her, she's a devoted wife, etc. I'm really nothing special.
Blame it on the hormones but I've been feeling pretty down and lonely lately. Not sure if it is this new medication I'm on or what but this is our 8th month of infertility treatment and I really don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Although meaning well, someone messaged me the other day that they are about to adopt their foster daughter. (She already has biological children) They got her at like...4 months old or something? They've had her for over a year and have known since she was very young that she was adoptable. The baby has no issues, no handicaps, etc. She knows we are trying to foster and knows we are doing infertility treatment, so why the announcement? I don't get it. Why me? We aren't even friends on facebook? I deleted her a while ago when our mutual friend and I (who we met through) stopped talking. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for her (as much as I can be for an acquaintance) but in general I'm more like 'ok?'. She said she was just messaging me to check up on me, but she announced her happy news first...almost like 'here's my awesome news, now about you?'. We don't even talk but once every 6 months or so.
Sorry if you're reading this-I appreciate the check up but with everything that is going on...it was just a bit of a shock.
I'm not really good at much. I don't have a hobby. I don't like mom's groups. I don't knit or craft. I'm not artistic. I'm a good cook...but I don't feel much like cooking lately. I want to start living to make each day count but I feel like every day is consumed with fertility treatments and other people's pregnancy announcements etc.
I know a 'friend' who is pregnant right now and she thinks I don't know. So not only is she lying to me but it's insulting my intelligence too. Which is annoying. Now, she has every right not to tell me...I'm not saying I should be at the top of the list by any means but yuck...get over yourself lol.
So I guess for right now I'll focus on work... making money, getting out of debt, and planning for a vacation...wish me luck on my scan for Friday!
Wednesday, June 7, 2017
The Promise I Didn't Know I Made...
Our children listen to everything. They listen to love, hope, fear, curse words, anger, resentment...even if they don't express it they are always listening (and watching!)
I have a lot of Doctor's appointments. The fertility treatments are timed and very calculated. Most of the time I try to make my appointments very early in the morning so that I can go by myself before Keith has to go to work. This would be because the first time I brought Bryce to my 10x10 box of a room and they began doing the transvaginal ultrasound he ran to the Doctor's side and exclaimed 'WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO YOUR BUTT?????'...I wasn't amused. The next time he had a checkup he asked the Doctor if they were going to put a stick in his butt. I'm surprised my son still belongs to me judging by the look of horror on her face.
Ok I'm exaggerating...his pediatrician thought it was funny. My Doctor did not.
Anyhow- so every night before bed Bryce and I sing our lullaby. Go to sleep my Bryce, sleep now big boy you, Go to sleep my Bryce and dream of (insert whatever fun things we did that day), flowers in the sunshine and boats upon a lake, dream my big boy Bryce, I'll see you when you wake...Dream my big boy Bryce I'll see you when you wake!
Bryce: no you won't, sometimes you are gone when I wake up in the morning so sometimes you don't see me when I wake.
(insert my broken bleeding heart)
Me: Aw honey, I'm sorry, I thought we were just singing our song. How about when I'm going to the Doctor the next morning we sing 'I won't see you when you wake but I'll be right back soon after you wake up' lol. He obliged.
It's just amazing to me how literal kids are.
According to Keith when I have my appointments, Bryce wakes up and walks around the house looking for me for about 5 minutes, then comes back to our room and asks Keith 'where is mommy?' and Keith tells him and he says Bryce sighs and says 'ok'. I feel so bad that all those nights I told him I'd see him when he woke and I wasn't there!
So- on to fertility treatment news. There is none really. I had a scan and my follicles were not growing so they did another dose (upped my dose) of the meds and now I have 2 follicles growing (no that does not mean twins) it just gives the 'boys' a better shot at fertilizing something. So here is hoping it is our month!!! I just did my trigger shot (the injection that makes me ovulate) and our IUI is Friday morning. Send some positive thoughts!!!
I have a lot of Doctor's appointments. The fertility treatments are timed and very calculated. Most of the time I try to make my appointments very early in the morning so that I can go by myself before Keith has to go to work. This would be because the first time I brought Bryce to my 10x10 box of a room and they began doing the transvaginal ultrasound he ran to the Doctor's side and exclaimed 'WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO YOUR BUTT?????'...I wasn't amused. The next time he had a checkup he asked the Doctor if they were going to put a stick in his butt. I'm surprised my son still belongs to me judging by the look of horror on her face.
Ok I'm exaggerating...his pediatrician thought it was funny. My Doctor did not.
Anyhow- so every night before bed Bryce and I sing our lullaby. Go to sleep my Bryce, sleep now big boy you, Go to sleep my Bryce and dream of (insert whatever fun things we did that day), flowers in the sunshine and boats upon a lake, dream my big boy Bryce, I'll see you when you wake...Dream my big boy Bryce I'll see you when you wake!
Bryce: no you won't, sometimes you are gone when I wake up in the morning so sometimes you don't see me when I wake.
(insert my broken bleeding heart)
Me: Aw honey, I'm sorry, I thought we were just singing our song. How about when I'm going to the Doctor the next morning we sing 'I won't see you when you wake but I'll be right back soon after you wake up' lol. He obliged.
It's just amazing to me how literal kids are.
According to Keith when I have my appointments, Bryce wakes up and walks around the house looking for me for about 5 minutes, then comes back to our room and asks Keith 'where is mommy?' and Keith tells him and he says Bryce sighs and says 'ok'. I feel so bad that all those nights I told him I'd see him when he woke and I wasn't there!
So- on to fertility treatment news. There is none really. I had a scan and my follicles were not growing so they did another dose (upped my dose) of the meds and now I have 2 follicles growing (no that does not mean twins) it just gives the 'boys' a better shot at fertilizing something. So here is hoping it is our month!!! I just did my trigger shot (the injection that makes me ovulate) and our IUI is Friday morning. Send some positive thoughts!!!
Monday, April 24, 2017
I got a job!!!!!!
So now that it is official, I can announce that yes I got a job.
I'll back up. I saw an email for a company saying they were looking for a stay at home parent who wanted some extra money.
Direct sales? nope
Telemarketing? nope
Pyramid scheming? nope
This is a real honest to goodness job! I will be selling ad space on a family oriented website. I'll post it here once I train for my position. The site is well-established and has thousands and thousands of visitors per month... so that will be appealing to potential advertisers!
We haven't discussed the particulars but I believe she mentioned me heading up some of the blogging that will be launching on her site too...but I'm not 100% sure about that part. I'm not sure if she wants me writing the blog or selling ad space on the blog topics. We shall see!
In other news, we just finished our 4th IUI. It was a fast cycle and the IUI timing came as a surprise. I went in one morning and IUI the next morning. Like...what? It's usually over the course of a few days/week. *shrug*. I feel the same about this IUI that I did about the first 2. The 3rd I KNEW I was going to get pregnant. I also knew I was going to get pregnant with Bryce. So I know I won't be pregnant this cycle. Not only was it too fast, but the follicle was much much much too large. I believe they triggered (the shot) an over mature follicle. I'm not a doctor...but that's what a lot of research has told me.... I'm thinking we will need to move on...either IVF or nothing...and we're leaning towards nothing. IVF is too expensive. And I'm heart broken. And that's an understatement.
On the Bryce front---He tried watermelon! Sounds like no big deal to most but it's huge in this house!
That's all- wish me luck for training.
I'll back up. I saw an email for a company saying they were looking for a stay at home parent who wanted some extra money.
Direct sales? nope
Telemarketing? nope
Pyramid scheming? nope
This is a real honest to goodness job! I will be selling ad space on a family oriented website. I'll post it here once I train for my position. The site is well-established and has thousands and thousands of visitors per month... so that will be appealing to potential advertisers!
We haven't discussed the particulars but I believe she mentioned me heading up some of the blogging that will be launching on her site too...but I'm not 100% sure about that part. I'm not sure if she wants me writing the blog or selling ad space on the blog topics. We shall see!
In other news, we just finished our 4th IUI. It was a fast cycle and the IUI timing came as a surprise. I went in one morning and IUI the next morning. Like...what? It's usually over the course of a few days/week. *shrug*. I feel the same about this IUI that I did about the first 2. The 3rd I KNEW I was going to get pregnant. I also knew I was going to get pregnant with Bryce. So I know I won't be pregnant this cycle. Not only was it too fast, but the follicle was much much much too large. I believe they triggered (the shot) an over mature follicle. I'm not a doctor...but that's what a lot of research has told me.... I'm thinking we will need to move on...either IVF or nothing...and we're leaning towards nothing. IVF is too expensive. And I'm heart broken. And that's an understatement.
On the Bryce front---He tried watermelon! Sounds like no big deal to most but it's huge in this house!
That's all- wish me luck for training.
Saturday, April 8, 2017
Moving on...
That's the best way to describe it. It is really eerie to think my body got rid of something we've been wanting for so long. I'm sad but more than that I am ready to pick up the pieces and continue with my life. I've got more treatment coming up and hopefully it works this time because the heartache is consuming.
Bryce and I had a great time today. Our complex has food truck/events. They had bounce houses, food, easter egg hunt, the easter bunny. The works. We decided to take it easy today and not do any work on the new house. I've been there everyday for at least 2 weeks. Keith is working so hard to make some OT so that we can do this round of treatment. He's amazing. School, 3 jobs. He's just plain amazing to have as a husband. We do have issues, but working as a team is not one of them.
He tells people constantly how he's amazed that I care for our son and keep a house going. I feel like I do nothing while he does everything. I'm doing something I wanted to do, be a stay at home mom and home school, and he works like a crazy person.
Tonight is night 3 of 5 of my pills to make me ovulate. So...fingers crossed it works. My scan is on the 17th... Please share our gofundme (found on my facebook) so that we can possibly get the funds to do our next scan.
Thanks everyone
Bryce and I had a great time today. Our complex has food truck/events. They had bounce houses, food, easter egg hunt, the easter bunny. The works. We decided to take it easy today and not do any work on the new house. I've been there everyday for at least 2 weeks. Keith is working so hard to make some OT so that we can do this round of treatment. He's amazing. School, 3 jobs. He's just plain amazing to have as a husband. We do have issues, but working as a team is not one of them.
He tells people constantly how he's amazed that I care for our son and keep a house going. I feel like I do nothing while he does everything. I'm doing something I wanted to do, be a stay at home mom and home school, and he works like a crazy person.
Tonight is night 3 of 5 of my pills to make me ovulate. So...fingers crossed it works. My scan is on the 17th... Please share our gofundme (found on my facebook) so that we can possibly get the funds to do our next scan.
Thanks everyone
Tuesday, April 4, 2017
Update to yesterday
I hope everyone is doing well this morning.
Me? Eh. I'm having a hard time today but that's because 'it' started. TMI and enough info for you on that front today.
Other than that I called my doctor to tell him 'it' started and we cancelled my blood work for today. We will be doing the blood work and my first scan Thursday instead. Hopefully the levels have gone back down so we can start the process all over LE SIGH
I also started a gofundme... and I am truly sorry to anyone who thinks less of us or judges us for doing so...but if anyone understands, it would be my fellow hard workers and paycheck to paycheck earners. Health care is so darn expensive no matter what plan you have.
We had 2 choices, either high deductible and they deposit a little bit in to your HSA for you, OR a copay which is easier on the wallet BUT you can't choose your doctors AND have to stay in one of two networks. Either OrlandoHealth or ....I forget the other. But if one Doctor you like is in one, and the other is in another....you're SOL!
Today I think we will relax. Keith is working all 3 jobs today and I think Bryce and I will take it easy, drink some tea, and maybe go paint the other rooms in the house. Who am I kidding? I'll paint, Bryce will step in it and drag it around :)
I won't link the gofundme here, I think that's silly and trying to bait you to click and donate. If you want to donate the link is on my facebook, also if you can't donate please share.
Me? Eh. I'm having a hard time today but that's because 'it' started. TMI and enough info for you on that front today.
Other than that I called my doctor to tell him 'it' started and we cancelled my blood work for today. We will be doing the blood work and my first scan Thursday instead. Hopefully the levels have gone back down so we can start the process all over LE SIGH
I also started a gofundme... and I am truly sorry to anyone who thinks less of us or judges us for doing so...but if anyone understands, it would be my fellow hard workers and paycheck to paycheck earners. Health care is so darn expensive no matter what plan you have.
We had 2 choices, either high deductible and they deposit a little bit in to your HSA for you, OR a copay which is easier on the wallet BUT you can't choose your doctors AND have to stay in one of two networks. Either OrlandoHealth or ....I forget the other. But if one Doctor you like is in one, and the other is in another....you're SOL!
Today I think we will relax. Keith is working all 3 jobs today and I think Bryce and I will take it easy, drink some tea, and maybe go paint the other rooms in the house. Who am I kidding? I'll paint, Bryce will step in it and drag it around :)
I won't link the gofundme here, I think that's silly and trying to bait you to click and donate. If you want to donate the link is on my facebook, also if you can't donate please share.
Monday, April 3, 2017
What's in a miscarriage?
I'll bet that title got your attention...
In an effort to be transparent we've decided to share this roadblock in our journey.
We are having (I am having) a miscarriage. Right now. As you're reading this I am losing a baby. A baby that had no guarantee, a baby that we paid $1,000 (PER MONTH) for (so almost $3,000 so far this year), a baby that we've paid for each month and still haven't met our $3,000 deductible (yes...many things are not covered when you're doing infertility treatment), a baby that we've hoped and prayed for endlessly, a baby that we already named...the day we found out, the baby that we told Bryce about, a baby we told our closest friends and families about, a baby.
Right now it is up in the air what is going on. I was very early for starters. It's either a chemical pregnancy (one that you lose before your missed period) or an ectopic. If it is ectopic I have 2 choices. Medications (which has WONDERFUL side effects including but not limited to: death, bone marrow and blood issues, hair loss, tumor growth) OR surgery to remove part of my female organs.
We are really hoping it's a chemical pregnancy type miscarriage. Yes you read that right...we are hoping for the less of the miscarriage 'types'.
To say we are devastated would be a massive understatement. You put all your eggs (HA! eggs!) in one ovary-I mean basket- and really hope for a good turn out. The good news? I am able to get pregnant. The bad news? Our HSA ran out and moving forward until we meet our deductible, it will be all out of pocket. We aren't quite sure we CAN continue...but we are SO close!
What have the reactions been like? Well, I will preface this with something... there have been some insensitive reactions. The preface is- I will share them but please understand that I'm not upset with the comments. In situations such as these I think people try to find SOMEthing to say rather than nothing. So if it has to be something insensitive, it's better than them shrugging their shoulders...in their opinions.
I've been told that maybe God didn't want me to have a baby right now. My argument for that is simply this- if that is true then why did God want a child abuser to have a baby right now?
I've been told it was my stress level. My argument for that is 'so every pregnant woman out there has been zen? Nah...I'm pretty sure a ton of women are stressed and then find out they're pregnant'. Also- yeah...even if I am stressed (and who wouldn't be buying a house that ended up being infested with bugs?) it isn't my fault. I won't take the blame for this miscarriage.
Others have just been sorry. Which is amazing. The ones that have been really helpful are the ones who check in on me every couple days because that lets me know they're thinking of me.
I have an appointment tomorrow to make sure my levels are going down. If they are then we can proceed if we choose. If not, then we have to find out what is going on.
In an effort to be transparent we've decided to share this roadblock in our journey.
We are having (I am having) a miscarriage. Right now. As you're reading this I am losing a baby. A baby that had no guarantee, a baby that we paid $1,000 (PER MONTH) for (so almost $3,000 so far this year), a baby that we've paid for each month and still haven't met our $3,000 deductible (yes...many things are not covered when you're doing infertility treatment), a baby that we've hoped and prayed for endlessly, a baby that we already named...the day we found out, the baby that we told Bryce about, a baby we told our closest friends and families about, a baby.
Right now it is up in the air what is going on. I was very early for starters. It's either a chemical pregnancy (one that you lose before your missed period) or an ectopic. If it is ectopic I have 2 choices. Medications (which has WONDERFUL side effects including but not limited to: death, bone marrow and blood issues, hair loss, tumor growth) OR surgery to remove part of my female organs.
We are really hoping it's a chemical pregnancy type miscarriage. Yes you read that right...we are hoping for the less of the miscarriage 'types'.
To say we are devastated would be a massive understatement. You put all your eggs (HA! eggs!) in one ovary-I mean basket- and really hope for a good turn out. The good news? I am able to get pregnant. The bad news? Our HSA ran out and moving forward until we meet our deductible, it will be all out of pocket. We aren't quite sure we CAN continue...but we are SO close!
What have the reactions been like? Well, I will preface this with something... there have been some insensitive reactions. The preface is- I will share them but please understand that I'm not upset with the comments. In situations such as these I think people try to find SOMEthing to say rather than nothing. So if it has to be something insensitive, it's better than them shrugging their shoulders...in their opinions.
I've been told that maybe God didn't want me to have a baby right now. My argument for that is simply this- if that is true then why did God want a child abuser to have a baby right now?
I've been told it was my stress level. My argument for that is 'so every pregnant woman out there has been zen? Nah...I'm pretty sure a ton of women are stressed and then find out they're pregnant'. Also- yeah...even if I am stressed (and who wouldn't be buying a house that ended up being infested with bugs?) it isn't my fault. I won't take the blame for this miscarriage.
Others have just been sorry. Which is amazing. The ones that have been really helpful are the ones who check in on me every couple days because that lets me know they're thinking of me.
I have an appointment tomorrow to make sure my levels are going down. If they are then we can proceed if we choose. If not, then we have to find out what is going on.
Saturday, February 25, 2017
Fostering Update---and others
We've gotten a lot of questions on the fostering front so I decided to write about it where everyone can see.
I think we left off that we had finished our classes and were preparing for our home study.
So we scheduled our home study and cleaned the house top to bottom, shampooed the carpets, scrubbed windows and doors. She arrives, and doesn't look at anything! I dragged her to rooms because I was so proud of our cleaning progress. Nada.
So we are thinking it is going well and Bryce was super friendly (albeit hyper because he thought she was a new person to play with)....complete with him putting himself in the dog cage. That was nice :/ Totally got points for that spectacle I'm thinking.... but then the preliminary report came back...
She was putting a halt on us moving forward because she had active concerns about our lack of discipline in our home and Bryce's not listening....
Excuse me what?
Yes, so it seems that because Bryce wouldn't listen to us telling him to go back in his room while we spoke to her that there was a lack of discipline and that foster kids need structure. (We learned in our class that it's a case by case basis and some children need rigid structure and others need a lax environment...totally case by case)
At first I got angry. At first I was going to write a scathing email 'how dare you, jerks!'... but then I thought about it and we didn't want to burn our bridges. Fostering is important to us! So I wrote on how I didn't think it was right to judge a 4 year old on his/her listening skills as it is an age trait, not a personality trait. Having someone new in the home was exciting, etc.
It was determined that her supervisor would come within the next few weeks instead.
This went a LOT better. She came, she sat, she talked. She has kids (which she was supportive of her colleague but her colleague did not have children). After this we were deemed fit as foster parents.
Then we were scheduling our finger prints and moving forward with the process....but then decided to pursue buying a home. This put another wrench in our fostering plans because they don't want to put effort in to certifying us and doing the home study if we are moving shortly.
We are moving very soon and to a different county to boot. We've contacted the fostering department there and are all set. We don't need to retake the classes, just their 2 hour orientation and then continue with our paper work, re-fingerprinted, and then home study again!
That's where we are at currently :)
We also just finished our 2nd unsuccessful month of fertility treatment. I know it's taboo to talk about but it really shouldn't be. If there's any updates on that front in the next couple months y'all will be the .... well, not the first to know...but soon after :)
Bryce is about to turn 5!!!! He's growing like a weed and so super smart. He's requested his birthday be Charlie Brown and Snoopy themed...Retro it is!
Ah* additionally and finally---if anyone has the hook up to FRUITY HOOPS Bryce has shown an interest and being that he never eats fruit, this could be an awesome thing for us. I'd be happy to do a review on my blog for them if anyone can steer me in to getting one!
Hope everyone is well- don't hesitate to ask any questions about fostering or infertility. I'm an open book!
I think we left off that we had finished our classes and were preparing for our home study.
So we scheduled our home study and cleaned the house top to bottom, shampooed the carpets, scrubbed windows and doors. She arrives, and doesn't look at anything! I dragged her to rooms because I was so proud of our cleaning progress. Nada.
So we are thinking it is going well and Bryce was super friendly (albeit hyper because he thought she was a new person to play with)....complete with him putting himself in the dog cage. That was nice :/ Totally got points for that spectacle I'm thinking.... but then the preliminary report came back...
She was putting a halt on us moving forward because she had active concerns about our lack of discipline in our home and Bryce's not listening....
Excuse me what?
Yes, so it seems that because Bryce wouldn't listen to us telling him to go back in his room while we spoke to her that there was a lack of discipline and that foster kids need structure. (We learned in our class that it's a case by case basis and some children need rigid structure and others need a lax environment...totally case by case)
At first I got angry. At first I was going to write a scathing email 'how dare you, jerks!'... but then I thought about it and we didn't want to burn our bridges. Fostering is important to us! So I wrote on how I didn't think it was right to judge a 4 year old on his/her listening skills as it is an age trait, not a personality trait. Having someone new in the home was exciting, etc.
It was determined that her supervisor would come within the next few weeks instead.
This went a LOT better. She came, she sat, she talked. She has kids (which she was supportive of her colleague but her colleague did not have children). After this we were deemed fit as foster parents.
Then we were scheduling our finger prints and moving forward with the process....but then decided to pursue buying a home. This put another wrench in our fostering plans because they don't want to put effort in to certifying us and doing the home study if we are moving shortly.
We are moving very soon and to a different county to boot. We've contacted the fostering department there and are all set. We don't need to retake the classes, just their 2 hour orientation and then continue with our paper work, re-fingerprinted, and then home study again!
That's where we are at currently :)
We also just finished our 2nd unsuccessful month of fertility treatment. I know it's taboo to talk about but it really shouldn't be. If there's any updates on that front in the next couple months y'all will be the .... well, not the first to know...but soon after :)
Bryce is about to turn 5!!!! He's growing like a weed and so super smart. He's requested his birthday be Charlie Brown and Snoopy themed...Retro it is!
Ah* additionally and finally---if anyone has the hook up to FRUITY HOOPS Bryce has shown an interest and being that he never eats fruit, this could be an awesome thing for us. I'd be happy to do a review on my blog for them if anyone can steer me in to getting one!
Hope everyone is well- don't hesitate to ask any questions about fostering or infertility. I'm an open book!
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