Hi, my name is Jennie, and I was a victim of bullying.
It is hard for me to say that because my entire life I was told that people were mean to me because they were jealous. Jealous of what? I never thought to ask that. I loved my childhood-my home childhood that is. I was tortured in school. In my neighborhood? I had so many friends...good friends that I still have to this day. At school? Never! Anyhow, it is really hard for me to actually come out and say that I was bullied because we're always taught to 'tough it up' or 'all kids tease' but the truth is kids can be MEAN! Ruthless. They don't understand the consequences of what they do- their feelings of hatred towards other are unfounded and ridiculous but the emotions they feel are real- so the result is bullying. I've never shared much of this but here it goes---some examples. (Oh and I'll preface this all with 'yes I'm over it, no I'm not dwelling on it, etc. It is more-so an observation and it got me thinking back to the things I've gone through---they made me who I am today)
When I was in 5th grade- people called me Chelsea the Dog. Reason? I dunno. Chelsea was for Chelsea Clinton because we both had red hair- but the dog was because at TEN years old the boys were saying I was uglier than a dog. Alas-Chelsea the Dog. This was also the year that I was a bike rider. One day four boys followed me home. One each stopped their bikes on all sides of me (front, sides, back) pushed me off my bike and hit and kicked me. It was unprovoked, I'd never done anything to them. They just plain didn't like me. Then they threw my bike in a ditch. I ran home and my mom called the cops. The parents of 3 of the boys made them apologize, and one father said that kids will be kids and he refused to make him apologize for something so stupid.
Middle school was worse mostly because it was 3 years of torture. I'm over it now and am even friends/acquaintances with some of the people from my class. It was a private school- so very small and everyone knew everyone. This was the year that people could discern the difference in the way I smelled. Smell you ask? Yes, smell. I came from a smoking household where 2 family members smoked indoors with no open windows or doors. There was also smoking in the car on the way to school. Also my last name was Winkle...Winkle rhymes with Stinkle- and so there ya go! The hatred that stemmed from this place was probably also due to the fact that I was/am annoying as all get out. I'm loud, obnoxious, etc. Always have been a bit quirky and it took a while for me to love myself because of it. But I do now. I appreciate my awkwardness and I embrace who I am. Back then? I was just plain annoying and immature. But anyhow, here are some examples of things that happened there.
There was that time that some guys in the class told me they wished I had died. That was nice. (I was late coming to school and when I arrived the entire class groaned and one of the guys leaned over to me and said 'we hoped that you were late because you got in a car accident and died, then we'd never have to see you again'). There was also the time that a kid brought fake cigarettes to school (because of me smelling like smoke) and the teacher got mad at him and took him outside for a 'talk'. The teacher then came back in the room with the kid and the fake cigarettes and they proceeded to 'fake' smoke them while the class laughed at taunted at me. I ran out and didn't come back for the rest of the day. There was also the time I missed a shot in basketball and one of the guys got me on the ground screaming at the top of his lungs in my ear that I was a worthless idiot and so stupid-until the coach told him to stop.
High school wasn't bad at all (compared to those things) I think by that age we were all a bit more mature and there were a lot more people to be friends with. People still teased me and it actually took a good 2-3 years to not take things so seriously. People told me all the time 'don't take things so seriously'. People still tell me that. I guess when you take a look back there are reasons I did/do take things so personally.
There is this whole movement now to stop bullying and what not. Open your eyes people-children (CHILDREN) are killing themselves due to this stuff! I never thought about killing myself but other kids might. We all have been teased I would think but there is a difference between teasing and feeling teased or made fun of, and real feelings of animosity. I dreaded going to school because of the comments I'd receive. I never felt happy going to school, in fact I felt scared. I was physically threatened a couple of times too but those didn't scare me as much as the pure hate I felt. Now that I'm a grown up and have moved past that part of my life- I have to wonder- does it shape who I am today? Do I lack confidence in my friendships with others because of these things? Does your social status in school reflect your success in life? Some may say 'rise-up, you create your own destiny' but perhaps it is too hard to escape who we were always TOLD that we were, instead of being able to become who were were supposed to be.
So- as anonymous as you'd like to be-- please comment here. I'm very interested. Were you popular? Were you not? Where are you now? Are you successful? Were you bullied? Were you a bully? Do you have confidence in your friendships? Relationships? What will you teach your children? If you found out your child told another child that they wished they would die, what would you do? What would you do about the teacher who bullied your child in front of the entire class? I wish I had let my mom do more but I begged her not to do anything because it was already hard enough there. She wrote a scathing letter and nothing like that ever happened again. What do you think about the stop bullying movement? Do you think it is too focused on physical altercations, homosexuality, and internet abuse? Should stronger actions be taken? I'm all for 'kids being kids' but when it gets to the point of depression and self-inflicted harm...something should be done. My escape was coming home and knowing I had my friends that loved me. So a special thank you to my brother, Beth, Ronnie, John, Chris, Cara, Katelyn, and Grace. Some kids don't have that escape.
Should I leave with Ellen's quote? Be kind to one another and yourselves? Or my own. How about I make my own movement?
*****disclaimer***** I am in NO way saying that just because someone was popular or well-liked doesn't mean they couldn't have or didn't suffer from bullying or abuse. Bullying/abuse has many faces and happens a lot more than people think. In fact, now, in people who are successful- don't they have 'haters'? Isn't that a form of bullying too? Others who are jealous so they put successful people down? Oi- I'm about to open another can of worms for myself but this post is already long enough! I could write about this forever. One could just simply say 'well, don't let it bother you' or 'you shouldn't care what other people think' but really people? Isn't that a lot easier said than done? When you figure out how to NEVER care at ALL what people think of you...let me know your secret.
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