I'm not very good at a lot of things. Just sitting here thinking about it the last few days...I don't have any one exceptional talent. I could take the cop-out route and say I'm talented at being a mother and wife, but to be honest, I'm not very good at those things either. Don't get me wrong. I don't think I am necessarily bad at those things, and I've actually had random people stop me and say that I'm a great mom (I guess judging by my interactions with Bryce)...but I really don't envision that there are people in my life and in my surroundings that are saying 'oh wow, Jennie is this amazing example of a wife and mother'...
My house is a mess. Check! Dinner is not cooked from scratch every night. Check. My bath tub has a ring in it. Check. Bills go unpaid or forgotten until those phone calls. Check. The car is low on gas. Check. There is dried goo on the wall from where my son threw food and I keep forgetting to wipe it up because every time I look at it and think 'oh I need to clean that' you hear me saying 'Bryce don't lick the window!'...and then that spot stays there. Check. Oh the list goes on and on. I guess I had this idea that entering motherhood would help me be more organized (insert general guffawing and belly laughs). I thought that having a baby would HELP the situation...that I would find a need to clean more and cook more...It didn't happen.
So in other news I had an endometrial biopsy about a week ago. I got permission from a lactation consultant to take a xanax (halleluiah) and also took ibuprofen beforehand to help with the cramping. The worst part was the speculum to be honest...it always is for me. Anyhow, the procedure caused a sharp cramp and it was over. No big deal. Results took a week and it was a long tiring week. I was pretty scared because I'd been having some symptoms of uterine cancer (irregular bleeding mostly)...but the Doctor was pretty sure it's just related to hormones...anyhow so the biopsy came back free and clear so no cancer here! I'm always so afraid of something being terribly wrong with me but I was pretty calm that whole week of waiting if I do say so myself. There were a couple days where I would envision the 'abnormal' results on the patient portal...and a few days where I thought 'Jennie you're being silly, you're fine'. Anyhow, I have another appointment in a week to try and get the PCOS under control... then who knows???? ;-) ;-) ;-)
Today marks a little over 24 hours since I've deactivated facebook. Seeing as how I can't post this link on my page any longer, I doubt this will reach any of you...but I hope that in the 24 hours I have been gone that facebook hasn't crumbled with my absence. I have the 30 day mark marked on the calendar. So far so good. Haven't peeked (except once when I made Keith check a farmers market facebook information page for the farmers market this morning, but I only looked at the business page not friends pages) however, I want to be accountable for it...so yes, I've seen facebook in the last 24 hours...but no posts etc. It feels refreshing to be off of there. I realized that I was caring more about what was going on in everyone's lives but my own. My child would want to play with me and I'd put it down for a moment but then pick it right back up. That's not how I want to live my life. I do care about you all...but I can't care about you more than I care about myself! There were mornings when we wouldn't make it out of the house in time because I was scrolling on my phone. No more :-) This morning we had time to wake up, chat, nurse the baby, get dressed, go to a farmer's market, run by target, and come home to cook a yummy breakfast....I'll take that over facebook any day :) I DO miss seeing all your cute babies and updates though. See ya soon!
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