Facebook Debacles

(Originally I was posting this on facebook)

I rarely post personal things on here. I mostly share articles, things I'm interested in, sometimes funny blurbs of Bryce, and photos.

It came to my attention that back at the end of June when I posted the beginnings of the articles about children being separated from their parents- I said something to the effect of 'please delete yourselves if you think this is ok'. Someone deleted me and I noticed it today. I was deleted and blocked- which is fine.

I asked a mutual friend who shares my same political views if the person had deleted/blocked me, or just deleted their facebook. The mutual friend didn't respond. I messaged her the next day and said 'I'm thinking that means yes, I was deleted and blocked' sort of jokingly.

I got a pretty ugly message back. It basically said

'You're acting like you're in middle school and I refuse to play your silly drama game. I am too busy working and raising my baby to be involved in this- why don't you ask her yourself?'

I basically responded with 'How dare you insinuate I'm being immature- I didn't ask her myself because I'm blocked-hence-cannot ask. I also work 2 jobs, and raise/home school my kid so don't pretend you're busier than me, we all have important stuff in our lives'.

It all sounds so petty when laid out here. Frankly I don't mind that I was deleted by the first person because they apparently think it's ok for children to be torn from their parents. Both of these people refer to me as 'friend', but they never message me, never ask how I'm doing, they've both never met Keith (we've been together for 13 years), obviously never met my son. If I'm immature, and a message exasperates you so badly that you have to talk down to me...or you delete me because we have the opposing views (granted I said if you think it's ok to separate children from their families...I thought nobody would think that's ok basically)...then WHY are we friends?

So- I'm mulling over some things. I need to keep facebook because of work. The groups are invaluable- but I might be downsizing to family and very close friends. I'm not being dramatic (or extra? LOL) but after this exchange a light bulb went off. Why do I have random Bob on my list that I was friends with for 11 minutes in high school- whom I never even check in with? Why am I giving the girl who never really liked me access to my personal triumphs and letdowns? Thoughts? Anything similar happen to any of you? Sorry this is long- I should have made it a blog post... In fact...

It has been a while...as always.

I have been going through some things. Our decision to end treatment namely being a huge crux in my lack of updating. It was such a difficult decision. I slipped in to a depression, gained all my weight back and then some, and have been down. I am up to 214lbs. This is the heaviest I've ever been with the exception of pregnancy. It has been SO hard to get back on track. Keep in mind I still eat healthier than most. I don't eat refined sugar, I don't eat grains, etc. I have incorporated dairy back in to my diet and I think this has contributed to overall weight gain coupled with eating 'paleo snacks' for breakfast/lunch/dinner... snacks are not wholesome even if they are paleo.

So... I am starting tomorrow. Another 'whole whatever' journey.

We were going to begin more extensive fertility treatment this month but I am postponing it until the following month. I need to get my dieting/lifestyle under control and my weight at a more manageable number.

I finally joined a gym. I didn't want to but I feel like it will keep me motivated. I need to stop making excuses for not going and just do it. At $93/month I better. I had to lower my cable bill (1st world problems) and discontinue a subscription in order to pay for it...but it now balances out.

I'll keep an update of how that is going. I am hoping to log my food and fitness here. With photos... blah...the before photos will come after lol.

Tomorrow is Bryce's 6th birthday...he's so excited. He thinks 6 is so grown up and I'll let him believe that.

I started a new job. I'm teaching children from China to speak English. I LOVE this job. I make good money...I'm happy...I'm valued...I is kind...I is smart...I is important. I seriously love it. The hours are very early...I'm talking 4-5am to 9-10am...so that part has taken some adjustment... I always was a night owl..staying up until 2-3 and getting up around 9. It was a schedule that worked for us. So this has been a huge change. I miss my 'me' time at night... if I can get Bryce's bed time down to 8pm I'd gain about 2 hours of me time...right now he's in bed at 9 and by the time he gets up for his eighth drink of water it's time for me to go to bed too.

Anyone have insight on how to get back on the eating track and fitness track? I really want to stick with it.