I post a lot about friends but I've been wanting to write this post for a while. It's weighing heavy on my mind and I guess now is the time.
When do you delete a friend?
I am not talking about the 900th friend on facebook that you had in high school and occasionally see at 7-11. I am talking true life, been there for you, you've been there for them, gone through crazy stuff together, know so much about each other that it's almost dangerous to stop being friends with them, no invitation needed because they are already there, type of friend.
People go through seasons of life. People change and people grow. One begs the question that if a friend (like stated above) completely falls off the face of the planet that they are going through a season, or something has changed, or you've inadvertently done something. What if it is none of the above? What if you have explored every avenue and they still make no effort in your friendship?
It is really easy to delete acquaintances. They will never know they're gone. Those few trusted true friends though- will notice (or worse yet...what if they don't? ). Let's assume they notice. Let's assume you travel in the same group of friends. Is it petty? What if you (as the delet-er) are hurt by all the posts you're not involved with, knowing that you've just texted them and that they have time to post handfuls of photos of their awesome outings or happenings, but they can't even take the time to text you just to say hey? Are you being a baby? Are you being a needy friend? If you've expressed your concern over the lack of communication and they still do not show an interest what then? Do you drop it or try to get to the bottom of it? Most would say 'just let it go' but you need to remember these are people that were in your wedding, who have called you crying for HOURS about their boyfriends. Who you've seen at their worst and best. It's not so easy to just let it go.
What if you're worried about them? Let's say you've been through these seasons together (new boyfriends, new houses, new apartments, new children, new jobs, etc) and your friendship has made it through all of this. But now...in this new phase of their life, they are a completely different person? Maybe it is the new situation they are in? Maybe someone is keeping them from their friends?
Here is a real problem. Let's say I'm the delet-er- is it really fair to make me wonder and question my friendship? If I really am to just 'let it go' why not just tell me? Why make me keep wondering. I'm the type of person that needs a reason and some closure. #sorrynotsorry
So- again. When do you delete a TRUE friend? Delete is being used as a blanket term as a play on 'everything is official on facebook'. You delete their number, their texts, their email, their facebook. Are they gone? Or is it just a mechanism for coping? How can you not be hurt that you've been just as decidedly deleted...just not facebook officially?
**note** I'm not talking about giving up a friendship over a month or two of non-communication. I'm talking MONTHS upon MONTHS of trying and getting no where. Multiple texts a week unreturned, calls, messages, etc...not returned. Blatantly ignored.
Why would I keep a person like this in my life? Why would I allow them to still see pictures of my son? I also know that it is not for lack of them being 'online' as they've commented and liked on other people's stuff.
WHEN do you delete a friend?
