....and I don't just mean physically.
Sometimes you just have to do a life cleanse. I'm no expert but I feel like in order to live a healthy life, all aspects need to be healthy. Your body, your mind, your spirit. Toxic by definition is NOT good for you so why keep it around?
Sometimes people drift in and out of your life- and what is that saying? Some people were meant to be in your life and others were meant to be lessons? I've learned a few lessons about friendship in the last few years. People you never thought would hurt you, do. People you thought would always be there for you, are not. People you never thought in a million years would be the ones you rely on, are. New people drift in and out and I find myself wondering-will you stay? Will you be one of the old women I sit on the porch with complaining about our old men?
I have started looking at my friendships in a different light the past year or two. Now, I'm not perfect but I do try to maintain my contact with people that are important to me. I ask myself one simple question when I am torn on whether the friendship is toxic or not. Frankly I am too tired to keep up appearances within my actual friendships rather than casual relationships. The question is 'Is my life affected by your absence?' or better yet 'Does my life change at all if you're not in it?'. If that answer is no, well then maybe it is time to reevaluate the friendship. I guess I should insert 'here' that I don't question all of my friendships and no relationship is perfect, but I will elaborate. Everyone has their friends. You know who your REAL friends are and you know who your 'facebook' friends are. You all know I'm right, there's no denying it. There are the friends we hang out with constantly to party with, and the friend or two you run to get coffee with, the friends that you invite over for intimate suppers. To me, the real friends are the ones that you just bring your kid over and hang out for the afternoon, or the bi-weekly shopping trip, the 'hey-I gotta get some groceries, want a bite to eat first and then shop?'... and then there are the ones (from social networking) that you say 'OMG we TOTALLY need to get together like FOR REAL this time' and you make tentative muddy plans that never happen...and that's completely OK with both of you because only 17% of your mind really wanted to. However, the 'question' I ask doesn't really apply to those people because in the last year or two I have not hesitated deleting toxic facebook people. If I literally never see you why would I? So rest assured that if you're on my facebook currently it IS because you bring something to my everyday life. Whether it be a funny meme, or cute kitty pictures, baby pictures, engagement pictures, quirks, etc. These make me smile throughout the day and I thank you.
If I am hurt in my friendships, the friendship is not reciprocated (he/she is just not that in to you comes to mind), the friendship is cut off to me without my knowledge (funny how that happens), or the friendship is not enriching my life in any sort of way-then I'm just too tired to put it in my pocket. I have enough weight to carry around (insert elementary school fat joke) in my day to day life to worry about such nonsense. If a friendship is causing me more grief than joy then consider yourself free of me!
I'm starting my New Year's Resolution early (or late) this year...but I'm closer to the New Year than away from it SO I'm early. What is it? To be HAPPY. To BLEED happy. Cause Happy. Live Happy. It IS a decision. Despite circumstances, despite tribulations you can CHOOSE to be happy (or medicate yourself to be happy- whatever works). Today is my day. I'm free of toxicity...or at least on my way to being free of it. I'm a work in progress.
Stay tuned. ;-)
