No I didn't eat paste (that was reserved for someone else) but I was definitely a weird kid. I remember a birthday party I went to in elementary school and the girl's house was SO huge...I asked her mother if I could go play on the stairs. Know why? Because I loved stairs. I still love stairs. Then the other girls (who were ironing those little melty bead things) told me I was weird, didn't want to play with me...and thus I was alone. I pretty much didn't care because she had a freakin treehouse and that thing was AWESOME. So until my mom picked me up I stayed in the treehouse, not melting plastic, thinking about the cool stairs.
I just deleted a long blog because it turned in to something I didn't want it to... a whining blubbering woe is me post...but I am flipping it around...
I don't want to be angry anymore. Nobody is worth that time spent on my mind. So I am here. Right now. And I want you to know I FORGIVE you. With my whole heart. If you (yes you) have wronged me in any sort of way...I release you from any guilt you may be harboring. If you wronged me when I was 5. I forgive you. If you wronged me yesterday. I forgive you. I FORGIVE YOU. This feels so freeing and I feel lighter. I FORGIVE YOU AND YOU AND YOU. I no longer will cringe when I hear anyone's name. It isn't worth it. Instead of my energy spent cursing your name, I will rejoice that I hear about it. If you win a million dollars I will NOT be jealous, I will be so happy that you won it and hope that you do all good with it.
I repeat, I do not want to be angry anymore. I don't want to be sad. I don't want to lament over fading friendships or old fights. I just want to continue to be me...but the happier version of myself. I will just continue loving my family and hope that some good friends stay, or come along the way. I can't continue to waste energy on those who will not waste one second for me.
You are forgiven :)
